It may be a sign of profundity and intellectual sophistication when one attempts to hold conflicting ideas within oneself at the same time. Of course, it is something that we humans of necessity do all the time without realizing it, but to do it consciously, that takes real effort. And it is necessary, absolutely necessary, that we should do so. For, without our capacity to live amidst a maelstrom of conflicting ideas, we would be caught in the crushing grip of logical determinism. And our logic, filtered as it is through the sieve of human intellect (which is never a dry light), and always incomplete, should never be trusted completely. Still, while it may be necessary (for a time) to aver in one and the same breath that 2+2=3 & 4, one pays a price for one's willed mendacity. We cannot simply choose in this way, lest we become monsters of will. For to maintain ones fundamental self under the onus of such a mode requires that one strive against the very nature of reality, lest one loses one's constructed self. I say constructed self; is the self then not created? The self is the same as spirit, and thus is responsible to the Creative Other while at the same time creative of itself. Spirit thus represents a fundamental dualism, being both created and creative of itself; and who may know the boundaries of these dual constructive processes? The self cannot consciously separate these two elements, the element which is self-creative from that Creative Other who gave the spirit life. And so this is the foundational disquiet of our being, that the thing cannot even know itself as self and will always in some sense be divided from the self. Under such an onus, why make bold statements concerning belief and strength? Why not let the universe of experience wash over the self in bold torrents of realization, when the self strives to meet the Other Self? Oh, how exhausting it is to be so sundered from the self as the self must of necessity be! Is it any wonder we cannot attain to true knowledge and make wise judgments under such an onus as this? [Today I really like the word onus].