Saintly Thoughts

Of Pain & Wisdom

Those who speak of wisdom likely mean not wisdom itself but the desire (and desirability) of appearing wise in the eyes of others.  Oh how I would love for others to find me wise!  I desire it more than money, power, sex or love!  I would exist as a lonely, miserable, insignificant speck of a man if only my fellows would recognize my wisdom!  Of course, such desire is itself the opposite of wisdom.  As with most true things, wisdom itself does not seek to know itself, only to actualize itself.  Perhaps this is why I desire others to find me wise, because it is the only way in a cold universe that I can feel assured of my wisdom.  God could tell me I was wise, and I would believe Him, but He would never do such a thing as to lie to me in such a cruel fashion.  One is not wise until one has given up on being wise (though not on the value of wisdom), who has despaired of wisdom itself, and who has given up all pride.  To exist in such a state of wisdom would be a terrible thing, painful beyond all human endurance.  Only the gods may know such wisdom.